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The Demise! is the sixth chapter of War On Earth sci-fi roleplaying story. This chapter is still open, so you can add your characters and contributions to this story.

For rules and overview, see War On Earth

CharactersEdit

Previous threadEdit

My DemiseEdit

On the ruined central city of Pluto

  • General Dagu (laying on the ruins of the city): Where is everything? Huh, that explosion... what an explosion! How explosive! Luckly for me, the pillow absorbed the impact, and I was able to escape right before the final explosion of the pillow. Oh, my, how lucky I was! I had these jet thingies that helped me to escape from the horrible explosion. BUT MISTER TEDDY BEAR COULD NOT! WHY MY TEDDY BEAR! I loved you, teddy, I loved you...

Later

  • Colonel (finally finding his harmed master!): General! Are you OK! Are you OK?
  • General Dagu (looking at the rests of a teddy bear): Yes, but... teddy... he did... he did not...

Some tears fall from the eyes of Dagu. It is a sad scene... I suggest the reader to cry at this moment... CRY! YOU MUST CRY! IT IS SAD!!!!!!!!!

  • Colonel: Virus and Trojan escaped... they took all the armada away. We could not stop them, robots began to go crazy...
  • General Dagu: I do not care about the armada anymore... Why my Teddy! Why my Teddy!
  • Colonel: It is war, MASTER!!! Someone has to lose his beloved ones...
  • General Dagu: BUT... WHY MEEEEE? WHY TEDDY?
  • Colonel': I do not know... master.... I do not know... What happened to the pillow!
  • General Dagu: A strange person came from nowhere... I do not how... he just stopped the beam.... It was weird! Weird...

Silence...

  • Colonel (after some minutes): Want some flan?
  • General Dagu: No... I am sad... I do not like any flan
  • Colonel: BUT... Master!!! Have you gone crazy?
  • General Dagu: YES, I HAVE!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO... Wait... Some flan, yummy!... ehem... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • Colonel: What about the androids?
  • General Dagu: Bring me my lap-top, quickly! I can not move from here... my leg hurts.
  • Colonel: It is look like you are badly hurt, sir... You have to go to hospital
  • General Dagu: There is no time. Bring me the computer
  • Colonel: OK...

(Later)

  • Colonel: Here! Your lap-top, sir!
  • General Dagu: Excellent! Now, I will just press some buttons and...

A giant explosion is seen in the outter space

  • Colonel: What was that!
  • General Dagu: Our fleet had a self-destruction code! Did not you know? I just destroyed all these stinking androids!
  • Colonel: They are robots. How can they stink?
  • General Dagu: Oh, yes, you are right... What about smelly robots?
  • Colonel: It is the same thing... robots have no any smell... they are just metallic thingies...
  • General Dagu: Well, let me try again... I just destroyed all these non-stinking androids!
  • Colonel: By far better, sir... But now we have lost all our war power. Only our old chipless manual vehicles remain
  • General Dagu: So you mean only the Space-bike survived?
  • Colonel: Yes, my lord...
  • General Dagu: Prepare them, equip them with all the weapons we have right now. It is time for the last assault on Earth
  • Colonel: It is going to take us a really long time to reach Earth by just riding bikes... I have to confess I have never exercised my noodle-like legs
  • General Dagu: NOODLE! We have noodles for legs! That is what robots turned us into... Noodles! I am a NOODLE! Noodle! Noodle! I do not even like Noodles, Noodles are not tasty!
  • Colonel: But that is what we are, master... NOODLES! Nothing more than NOODLES!
  • General Dagu: No more pitiful self-pity, my noodly piting fella! These noodles are going to take over Earth. Prepare those bikes as I ordered... And please can you call an ambulance, I am about-to-dead, you know!

(On Mars)

Operator: "My lord, good news, the hostile virus has dissipated... we believe the transmitter has been destroyed, all communications are back online as well as all off planet units."

Commander Flamefang: "Very good, very good... get me in contact with Mercury and Earth immediately, then tell the fleet to jump from Venus back to here, gather all forces ready for war, we have a new enemy and i am not about to stand there while it destroys us!"

Operator: "Very well sir, we shall have the fleet ready in a few hours."

Commander Flamefang: "We march on the asteroid belt!"

Soldier: "Well i'm pretty sure its rather hard to do marching in space sir..."

'Commander Flamefang: "Why, oh why, do you take things so literally?"

Soldier: "Well its my job sir, you know... the humor mixed in... us soldiers are supposed to be dimwitted remember?"

Commander Flamefang: "That doesn't mean i want YOU to be dimwitted! *Sighs* Leave my presence soldier."

(In space, thousands of ships can be seen rallying at Mars, preparing for the counter offensive on the Plutonian front line)

In orbit around Mercury, the Hermes is preparing for a little trip...Along with half of its star fleet...

Prince Grenyerd: Space Bikes?

Spy: (Speaking through I-Phone) Yes, my Liege.

Prince Grenyerd: Pluto's ordering an armada of Space Bikes to attack Earth?

Spy: That is correct.

Prince Grenyerd: The combined forces of Mercury, Earth, and Mars are going to attack a bunch of ancient space bikes?

Spy: Well, you've got to admit, there's a hell of a lot of them, sir.

Prince Grenyerd: But... Oh, forget it. Lets just go already. Order the Admiral to leave half of the attacking fleet behind, we probably won't need them.

Spy: I'm all the way on Charon, my lord. I can't order anything from here.

Prince Grenyerd: Oh...Sorry. It's just that I'm so used to having my-my chamberlain here to do anything for me on my slightest whim. Oh, how I took his presence for granted. Soldier!

Soldier: Yes sir?

Prince Grenyerd: Order the Admiral to take half of the fleet, and head for Mars' orbit. We'll come too. And, um, just in case, order the preparations to be made for Operation Hailey's Comet. You never know what might happen.

And a quarter of Mercury's fleet leaves to go attack a bunch Plutonian Space Bikes.

(In Mars Orbit)

General: "All forces are ready sir!"

Commander Flamefang: "Very good, prepare to advance! Oh wait, i' d better contact my allies..."

(On The Hermes Flamefang can be seen on a holo-projector, making an eloquent bow, in full battle armor.)

Commander Flamefang: *coughs* Is it on? General? Are we recording?

General: "We've been recoding and transmitting for about 20 seconds sir.

Commander Flamefang: "Are you sure? There's no flashing light or anything..."

General: "Look, just speak ok?"

Commander Flamefang: "Today, we make history, for on this day, we shall hunt down and destroy our foes which we have fought so long and hard to defeat!"

General: "Its only been a few days...."

Commander Flamefang: "Anyway, i thank you for joining this expedition, and i hope it shall finally end this war....

(A Crash resounds through the hologram, and Flamefang spins around and glares behind him, as the communication crackles and is lost.

(Back in orbit)

Commander Flamefang: "What on mars was that?!!??"

Operator: "There's something stuck on the front of the ship sir... and it won't come off.... we've lost most communication abilities."

General: "ITS A TRAAAPP!!!!"

Commander Flamefang: (Looks out window) Hmm, what's that? Is that a bike? Yes it is, no now there's lots! Maybe its one of those stupid Uranian Get fit" classes or something..."

Operator: "Sir! We have identified the foreign object attached to our nose sir! It appears to be some sort of Flan..."

FlantasticEdit

Hermes Just enters orbit of Mars.

Prince Grenyerd: You have absolutely got to be kidding me!

Pilot: So many space bikes...And what are those globs of things floating around?

Prince Grenyerd: Is that...? No, it can't be. Is that flan?

Pilot: Wait. I'm scanning them now. You're right, it is flan!

Prince Grenyerd: Look! Flamefang's ship! It's covered in flan! Lets go help. Aim all stun-guns at the bikes.

Pilot: Aye, prince. The bikes are targeting us with flan cannons!

Prince Grenyerd: And how much damage is it doing to our ships?

Pilot: Um...None. Wait a sec. What's this? See that thing of flan over there? I'm getting strange readings from it.

Prince Grenyerd: What readings?

Pilot: This may sound strange, sir, but it appears to be a mixture of flan, cybernetics, and...human.

The blob of flan/robot/human floats near the main window. Suddenly, a figure climbs out of it. It seems to be made out of wires and metal, but it is all too human. And all too familiar.

Prince Grenyerd: It-it cannot possibly be...

Pilot: Oh my god!

There's a beep over the ship's communication line. A familiar, weak voice comes out.

Voice: M-my P-Prince. I've come back.

Prince Grenyerd: I-is it truly you? My chamberlain?

Cyber/flan-Chamberlain: Yes, my liege, it is I.

Prince Grenyerd: Open the top hatch, pilot! Get a tow-ship to bring him in! He's alive! He's actually alive!

The deformed, ex-dead Chamberlain enters the hatch and is immidiately sent to the medical center in Hermes... And in a nearby blob of flan, two deadly androids await for whatever they're waiting for...

The Final EndEdit

Meanwhile, On Uranus semi-destroyed plutonian base

  • Colonel: Master, an emergency! Many bikes have being stolen!
  • General Dagu: What? How could that happen? Did not I tell you to keep them on watch?
  • Colonel: I know, yes, sir... but... we could not do anything... Virus and Trojan came from nowhere... I do not know how they survived, may be they were not staying with the rest of the androids when you destroyed the armada... Then they released a giant flan blob, and it began to eat soldiers... we tried to destroy it, but the flan is... you know... indestructible. You can shot at it, but it is so... liquid' the lasers just go right to the outter space after digging their way into its... blob.
  • General Dagu: Fools! Flan is not indestructible! Why did not you eat it?
  • Colonel: Would you eat a horrible mutant blob made of zombified flan?
  • General Dagu: Of course I do. I like flan
  • Colonel: That is why you are the general, general Dagu.
  • General Dagu: I know colonel. Now prepare the rest of the bikes, we are going to chase those horrible androids... and may be we can take a mutant dessert after reprogramming these stupid robots. NOW BRING ME MY TOTAL WAR SPECIAL UNIFORM!
  • Colonel: Do you mean.... the green dog suite?
  • General Dagu: YES, MY GREEN DOG SUITE!
  • Colonel: But you only use that DEADLY uniform when a 'Real Total Doom Battle is coming.
  • General Dagu: Yes, it is... Earth has to pay, they killed my teddy bear... I know they were... They always are

Back to the Asteroid Rings

  • Virus and Trojan: Excellent! The flan cannon is releasing evil blobs of corrupted flans everywhere! NOTHING CAN DEFEAT FLAN! NOTHING!

Lots of Space Bikes are driven by evil flan blobs, off-spring of the original blob.

NOTE: You can hear the blobs saying random stuff like "I am so tasty, I will yum myself"


On Mars orbit, the plutonian army is biking when suddenly they see the terrible battle between blobs and humans

  • Colonel: They are everywhere! Look! Virus and Trojan have created so sort of flan cannon that creates more and more bike-riding flan blobs
  • General Dagu (drinking a pop soda): They are out of control... Look! They are growing in a really fast pace! They will be a giant Moon-sized mass of evil that will destroy all the planets if we do not stop them now.

Dagu knows there is not hope for humanity is the blobs are not defeated now. Against his own will and pride, he has to turn on his transmissor, he dials many frequencies trying to send the following message:

  • General Dagu: Flamefang, Grenyerd, the blobs are out of control... they will eat everything if we do not stop them! Please accept a truce until the flanny menace is over!
  • Flamefang: "I can hear you Dagu, Well alright.... these blobs must be stopped, otherwise they will doom us all"
  • General Dagu: Please hear me, carefully... Listen... The ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT THE BLOBS IS BY EATING THEIR FLANNY FLAN-MADE BODY, so prepare your jaws for a big flan-swallowing battle.
  • General Dagu: BLOBS! PREPARE YOUR SELF TO BE EATEN BY ME!!!!!! I AM DAGUUUUUU!!!!!!! Hey, Flamefang, I bet you can not eat as many flan as I do!!!!
  • Flamefang: "No no, such things are disgusting, I think I shall stick to my tea and crumpets."
  • *General Dagu: What? You dare to challenge me in a gross-out flan eating content! You asked for it! Prepare yourself to be defeated! Wait, what did you say?
  • Flamefang: "Uh, the communications seem to be garbled... what was that?"
  • General Dagu: What?
  • Flamefang:' "Fool! You rely on such crude methods! I shall defeat this Flan!"

(Flamefang dons his helmet and jumps into the vacuum of space, he then pulls out a flamethrower and begins to burn the advancing Flan into cinders.) (After a few minutes)

  • Commander Flamefang: "Whats this? My flamethrower is out of fuel? Fools! (Bashes the flamethrower).

(Grenyerd's ship flies past, straight towards the Androids who are watching the battle from afar)

Prince Grenyerd: Are we there yet?

'Pilot: Aye, sir.

Prince Grenyerd: Good. Aim all cannons. And fire.

The two androids turn to see dozens of rounds of lasers, beams, and bullets shooting towards them. They don't even get the chance to scream one last "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

General Dagu, who is grossly eating blobs while watching the battle, takes his transmitting thingy

  • General Dagu (watching from a far distance who Virus and Trojan were destroyed by the You-have-no-any-chance-to-scream-Noooo!!! ray): Thanks for defeating the androids, Grenyerd. Now I will reset them to be toasters.
  • General Dagu (now talking to himself, not noticing Flamefang is thrown by a giant flan blob and falls right behind him): I will order my troops to continue the attack on Earth right after the flans are defeated and properly eaten.

(Flamefang overhears)

Commander Flamefang: (He Ejects a blade from his gauntlet and holds it out almost touching Dagu's throat) "What did you say?"

General Dagu: How dare you hold a knife to my throat!

Commander Flamefang: "Look i'm the one with the knife i'd suggest recons-"

(Flamefang is hit by a flying piece of flan which carries him away into the thick of the battle)

As Dagu takes out his trasmitting thing and prepares to order his troops to attack Earth, Prince Grenyerd in his green and black uniformal space suit floats next to him on the hull of his ship.

Prince Grenyerd: Now, you see, I don't recall offering to help you attack Earth, and I have absolutely no recolection of not standing by President Cooper (who I had absoluetely no intention to assassinate).

  • General Dagu: Yes, You had
  • Prince Grenyerd: No, I hadnt
  • General Dagu: Yes, You had
  • Prince Grenyerd: No, I hadnt
  • General Dagu: Yes, You had
  • Prince Grenyerd: No... Oh, shut up
  • General Dagu: I SEE!!!! You dare to protect Earth! But... You have to help me... because... Grenyerd... I AM YOUR FATHER!!!

Prince Grenyerd: Nice try, but I believe that that is an ancient cliche...

  • General Dagu: No? Well, what about your brother? Your sister? Man... You will never believe I am your mom... Would you?

Prince Grenyerd: Not quite.

  • General Dagu: I see... Ehem... Hey! Look over there! A giant sammich monster is about to eat your flying... hustling ship thingy! THEY ARE AFTER REVENGE!!! They will eat you just like you ate them!!!! I knew it would happen!!!!

Prince Grenyerd (looking away): Where??? Huh? Hey, Dagu... where did you go? Dagu rides his bike back to the central asteroid where from the Colonel commands the troops

  • Colonel: We have won, master... The flan has being eaten and digested!!! That sad-looking blob right there is the last surviving enemy!
  • Last Blob: Oh, please, EAT ME! EAT ME! I NEED AN END FOR MY HORRIBLE POINTLESS LIFE OF FLANNESS
  • General Dagu: Oh, poor flan... do not worry, I will eat you and you will be happy living in the flanny heaven of my belly
  • Last Blob: Thanks, oh, lord, thanks

Dagu eats the last flan blob. Dagu belly roars, he looks so bloated and flanned...

  • General Dagu: ARRG! Now I have to go to the W.C.! That flan has made me sick! Colonel? Can you tell me where to find a W.C?
  • Colonel: A W.C? Well, there is only one, the one of the W.C.-1 Asteroid

Later, now in the asteroid. Dagu is running right toward the W.C, but then he discovers Flamefang is running to get into the WC too!

  • General Dagu: I NEED THE W.C. RIGHT NOW
  • Commander Flamefang: ME TOO! I had to eat my way out of that massive flan blob!
  • General Dagu: Let me in! I am sick! I will explode if you do not let me in! You can wait! I ate the last blob!

Dagu keeps trying to enter first, but Flamefang does not let it. He is flan-bloated too!

  • General Dagu: How you dare! You will see... Flamefang! Your time is over! I will cut your throat like if you were some sort of... thoarty thing of cutness!

General Dagu takes his laser sword, and Flamefang takes his

(Epic battle ensues. Dagu's mental tricks... "Oh my, Look over there!", "What is that in your head?", "I came from the past... If you kill me you will be never born!"... do not work, Flamefang is too smart)

  • General Dagu (touching his BELLIE!): I can not continue fighting... the Flan is defeating me! You do not want to see the Flan defeating me, I bet... It will be GROSS!!! See... I give up... I will throw my sword away... Take the Jupiter mines if you want to... I will retire all the plutonian bikes from the asteroid belt after this war ends... Just let me in! LET ME IN!
  • Commander Flamefang: Eh, That is OK. I guess. I really wanted to see you explode, but... yes, you are right, that gonna be gross
  • General Dagu: Thank you, Commander!

After using the W.C, Dagu washes his hands and rides to the bigger Asteroid, where Plutonians are preparing a provisional base

  • 'Colonel: Sir, look at what we found in the ruins of Pluto! It is your Teddy!
  • General Dagu: Teddy? TEDDY! ARE YOU ALIVE!
  • Colonel: Alive? No, he is more like... UNDEAD! The explosion zombified him!

General Dagu looks at his teddy. He is devouring the head of a cute doll

  • General Dagu: No matter... I love teddy, I do not care if you are an evil doll-eating monster.... the very important thing is we are together again... Oh, teddy, ask me whatever you want, I will not leave you again... What you say? You want me to take over the world for you? Then I shall... my teddy master
  • General Dagu: Bike soldiers! Hear me! We have not being defeated yet. Earth can be ours, we deserve it, this war has not being for nothing, Teddy deserves it. Now follow me! It is the final assault on Earth!

Plutonian soldiers yells like one: "Yes! For the Teddy! Can we do it? Yes, we can!". All the plutonian bikes run straight to Earth, taking advantage of their speed and light weigth to leave the martian-earthian-mercurian army behind

(Flamefang emerges from the W.C.)

Commander Flamefang: "Whats this? He's attacking Earth? Darn, all forces pursue them"!

With the arrival of the Plutonian bikes to Earth, Copper escapes in a little escape-capsule. Earth government collapses, and Pluto captures the Main cities

  • General Dagu: Finally! We have taken over on Earth!
  • Colonel: But... Colonel... Do not you see? We are being besieged! The martian-mercurian united army is out there, in orbit. We have gotten Earth, but we will be unable to escape from here... and they will continue bombing our bases!
  • General Dagu: Darn it! Darn it! Darn it!

After five years

  • General Dagu: Well, it has not being so bad. Living in Earth is cool! And... I do not really care about the constant bombing, you get accustomed after some booms. The beachs, the trips, the forest, the Sun... It is worth being constantly attacked and bombed
  • Colonel: Yes, it is nice... But I guess we will have to surrender some day...
  • General Dagu: Yes, eventually

After other five years

  • General Dagu: Yes, eventually

After other ten years

  • General Dagu: Yes, eventually... frankly, I am already bored. Too much fun and joy for me, frankly, I liked Pluto more than Earth. Tell them we give up...
  • Colonel: Oh, yes... I am sick of Earth too...This sunny life is not for me.

Commander Flamefang: "what? After all this you actually go and SURRENDER?!!??

  • General Dagu (talking to the hologram): Yes, Flamefang. We surrender, by the way, did not you ever get sick of bombing us?! Man, there are lots of other things you can do! Get a hobbie!... By the way, I am bored... Do not you have any videogame? No? Want to play 3-D Chess?

Commander Flamefang: "No you fool! Just because you see a small blue, glowing version of me standing in front of you does not mean i'm there. I am just a few miles away, straight UP! But alright i'll come down.... under the terms of a truce though..."

Martian General: "ITS A TRAAAAP!"

Commander Flamefang: "You said that same exact phrase 15 years ago."

(In an Earth Satellite, playing chess)

  • General Dagu: Mmm... These flan sandwiches are just tasty!!!! After we conclude this chess game we can play pool.
  • General Dagu: Hey... Did you see that, prince? It was my TURN! Hey, Flammy! You are CHEATING! IT MEANS WAR!

Commander Flamefang: "Not AGAIN!"

  • General Dagu: I was kidding... of course... I really got tired of trying to kill you anyways
  • Max Tate: I just arrived from Saturn, The planet is a baron wasteland.
THE END (?)

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